Why Do Some Females Think It's Okay?

In my view women are threatened by mren, especially those close to them, who wear what they preceiev as female clothing. They may be Ok with the occaisional dressing up but feel uncomfortable with men wearing tights as everyday wear. Its a dilemma. I would not dare ask my wife to wear only skirts and dresses, indeed such behaviour is consdiered in the spectrum of domestic violence.

I think it's a classic case of the NIMBY syndrome. (Not in my backyard). My wife fully admits it. It is really unfortunate that a woman can wear any type of clothing, weather or not designed for men or women, and society is OK with it, but if a man wears something that is even hinted at as being feminine or designed primarily for women, it is not OK for most of society.

Many, many words have been written about this subject over the years on internet.

I am Dutch and in Holland we have a wonderful forum for guys like us, called www.herenpanty.tk (Dutch for men's tights) The main object of this forum is to promote and support the general acceptance of male hosiery. What I read on many anglo/american foums as a sort of consensus that "we" are pathetic because we CAN NOT wear what we would like to. Of course this isn't true at all. As long as one doesn't violate any law, we actually CAN wear what we want.

When I go out in shorts and visably wear pantyhose or holdups, I'm not being arrested, nor starts anyone throwing things like rotten aggs towards me. The words at the top of this blog are very true: no one cares.

Nevertheless, social pressure can be very strong to walk in line with the mass. I have done that for about 3 decades, before I decided to get real. Told my wife two years ago, and my four sons know now since last October. Of course, just like most of us I got some restrictions, both from my wife and my kids. But from day one I made them perfectly clear that I wasn't asking for approval. I do consider their wishes though, and I will never provoce any situation deliberately to embarrass them. But at the same time I have to sail my own course in life and not theirs...

At times my wife was not very comfortable with it. Then I used to say she should be looking for something like a grey mouse to marry. Sorry, that's what you get out of more than 30 years of frustration, and I want to add that I love my wife with all my heart. We are still together and she is also learning to be genuine more and more.

The situation now is calm and understanding. This is just a part of me and they (wife and kids) know it. Just like a diamond, every person has a lot of different facets, and this is exactly why a diamond sparkles.

Again, it seems to me that most men who like wearing hosiery ask for approval or seek for confirmation that it's okay. Just DON"T! It IS okay, YOU are okay as you are. And btw, I never met a woman who asked ME if it was okay if she'd wear trousers or even a necktie.

My advice: be genuine, get real, sparkle as you are... If a relationship wrecks on a few grams of fabric, there must be a lot of other issues.

searcher

I can not understand it either. I am a Tights (Pantyhose) wearer everyday, summer or Winter. My Wife has grown to accept it over time, although is a little uncomfortable with it at times if we are out and I am in Barley Bllack sheers for example and they are clearly visible. It took a long time to get over the initial objections and we did this by my re-assuring her that it was not a problem. I am not Gay, I do not want Men, and more over I do not want to hurt her. They are only Clothes. I love the feel and look of them on and with constant re assurance that I am still the same loving Husband she at last accepted it. They are after all only Clothes, for me the, You wear trouser and a sweat shirt argument never worked.

It was however different for me initially to allot of people. I suffered abuse as a Child and part of one aspect of being disciplined was being dressed in girls clothes for prolonged periods, This was in conjunction with Corporal Punishment. This was at home instigated by my Mother. It progressed into abuse a little later when a outside of the family things got worse. I came close to a breakdown when in later life i could not get beyond the abuse that I had suffered and put a major strain on my relationship to the point of splitting us up. When I was backed into a corner and forced to face my demons, my Wife began to understand and encouraged me to deal with issues one at a time, One was the guilty feelings of being punished in the first place, but secondly the fantastic feeling of wearing Tights. I have worn them ever since. What I am explaining here is that in my case honesty worked, tell the truth and tell them why you are who and what you are. In my experience trying to harbor a guilty secret that did not make sense to her did not work. I am still who I was, I love her with all my Heart, and i enjoy wearing beautiful soft sensual tight fitting Lingerie that Society says is just for Women. Society is wrong I am not !!!! Most objection in my opinion comes from ignorance, arrogance and fear of the unusual and is only overcome with honesty and genuine conversation with barrow loads of re-assurance from you. As for buying tights, just do it. No one cares. No one looks, and no one is bothered. It is my experience that we are far more scarred than anyone about a Guilty little secret that is not a guilty secret. I buy most of my tights from a Female Market stall holder, generally in 5's and there is never a problem. Remember this, before anyone can love you as you are, you have to accept yourself for who you are. Accept that and you have cracked it

self acceptance indeed is the key...

searcher

Nice article!

My answer might by a bit more simple (and even radical??). I believe we are still living in a very patriarchal society. Therefore males - in general - are sticking to their dominance/supremacy in many ways; part of that is masochism, or a kind of 'manhood' by the definition we use it ever since the fall of the Greeks (with the light exception of the Renaissance).

And because we don't have to write nice poems, sing them, or win at a joust to get the love of our sweetheart (and to prove our manhood to other males) anymore, but simply to work hard in a more urbanised world, we - men - left the colors and the fashion for the ladies, amongst a group of feelings/attributes considered to be 'girly', or feminine.

I believe that in a world where we don't write poems, sing them or fight at a joust, to preserve (and show up) manhood is even more critical - and choices are very limited. So men are very cautious about anything that might be 'suspicious', e.g. pantyhose for men.

What many women think is just a reflection of this male, patriarchal, masochistic ideology, or probably paradigm? cultural pattern?, in my opinion. As I experienced many times, they need affirmation from us, men, about this issue - if we say it's OK., they will likely to say it's OK.

It's a mental trick hidden here, indeed - it's not about acceptance at all (in the case of pantyhose at least). Ladies don't have to accept men wearing ph (pantyhose). For them there is nothing new in ph, they know pantyhose well, and they know by practical terms that it's as unisex as trousers. They need an affirmation from the male that it's OK for the male to wear. I would say, they have to see that the male dares to wear it... (They might not like it - how it looks, what others say etc. - but it's another issue again. Pantyhose IS unisex, and they know it.)

I believe that a woman sees a man who wants to do something that only he himself, part of this patriarchal-etc. society, can deal with. I believe that women might see their men struggling with it, and this might generate different reactions from them - on both sides (positive or negative).

So it's a question of interpretation, how we as men show it to a woman, how we tell, how we interpret. Any time I had doubts about myself and my nylon gene, and gave a weak start, I fell. And any time I was strong, straight-saying and self-confident, I made it a non-issue in a few days.

But, finally, the bad guys are us, the males, not the ladies. They just "suffer" from the consequences of our fears, I think. Mea culpa...

Ps. regards the title of the article: Why Do Some Females Think It's Okay? I think it's more like Why Do Some Females Think I am Okay? (And here you have an answer, too: there will be always other people who will think you aren't OK, regardless if you wear pantyhose or not.)

Living in Switzerland, growing up in a macho family, and being a very regular men's tights wearer, it would be unthinkable for me to ask permission from my girlfriend if it was ok ! As long as I wear tights for warmth, I would not expect to have any problems. I have always worn as a matter of fact and would be scandalised if a woman would even dare forbid. Having said that, I only wear tights under my pants or at home...like any other underwear.I only wear colours like black, navy, brown and white, never tan. I don't wear tights in the summer. I know that it would then be considered a fetish. That is the real problem really. Al my friends (male or female) have seen me at some point or another in men's tights ( changing rooms at sports clubs, on ski holidays, staying with friends, changing in front of girlfriends etc....), in winter. Nobody has ever found it wierd. I realise that shorts and tan tights in the summer will raise questions though and wifes-girlfriends could be then be embarrassed. It then becomes a question of taking into account the other persons feelings. Why not agree to dress as one wants when alone in public in the summer and be a bit more sensitive to the other when accompanied.

my wife loves when i wear tights around the house and at work..she makes sure they are cleaned and ready to wear everyday..she don't wear them herself, but likes me wearing them..on halloween, she makes sure that part of my costume includes tights. she had a robinhood costume made for me last year, and all of our friends loved it ,too. they expressed on how the tights made it more realistic, the tunic was short and the green tights were very noticable on me.

I think that the reason is so basic that most of us have overlooked the obvious. The fact of the matter is everybody, men and women alike, get tired of someone else bringing up the topic of their underwear! I know it seems a new and perhaps uncomfortable topic for most men but the person who you are talking to has been wearing them their whole life. How would you feel if someone kept bringing up the topic of thier Boxer shorts because they were uncomfortable wearing them! Who cares! Give them a break and quit brining it up. I speak from experience because my wife was uncomfortable with me at first but not for wearing them (because I wear tights for support) but because I kept seeking her approval, just wear them! Now I have absolutely no problem wearing black, matte 60 to 100 denier with my spandex running shorts just like everyone else is doing or tan, matte, sheer with my casual shorts in the summer time. Even my mother nags me if I don't wear them because she knows the pain I get in my knees if I get lazy and don't and I'm 48. Please, take my advice and wear hose like you wear your underwear, be discreet, don't wear shinney, high gloss bright colors because the average man doesn't wear that anyhow. My rule of thumb (and my wifes also) for buying tights or pantyhose is if you wouldn't wear a shirt looking like that, then why would you put it on your legs? And by the way the only way a sales clerk is going to look at you funny is if you do buy tights or pantyhose that wouldn't suit you, even women who buy shinney neon high gloss tights might get a raised eyebrow if the clerk doesn't think she will suite them but a man buying basic black or tan will never get a second glance, I know because I've been buying them for a couple of years now.

Interesting site and comments in general...I do agree with Acyclopath.