What is acceptance?
by Geraden
What are the criteria for determining whether men wearing tights (incl. pantyhose) is 'acceptable'? How do we tell?
Over on LAUF there has been a bit of a debate about this, and one post in particular hooked me.
The background to this one is that our friend and contributor Harisnya had what I thought was a good idea. He posted a topic in the on-line encyclopaedia, Wikipedia called Pantyhose for Men. Wisely he approached the topic not from the angle of why men wear tights (which could well be a controversial area) but on the indisputable fact that hosiery is now manufactured and marketed for men. Without my asking, Harisnya also very kindly included a link to this site, from which I am getting a lot of hits every day. Harisnya reported on LAUF what he had done.
Surprisingly this sparked a bit of a debate. Mike (Lycra_One), a senior member of LAUF, who can usually be relied on to make reasoned and common sense contributions to any discussion, commented, "Oh it's in Wikipedia now. Yay. And here I was looking for acceptance. If a site like Wikipedia endorses it then I suppose I can start wearing pantyhose without guilt. Whew. I was worried there for a minute."
When one or two people made surprised comments on the stance that Mike had taken, he came back with this:
… We don't NEED acceptance. We already have it. I've worn shorts and hose for over 10 years. It didn't require a billboard, newspaper article, encyclopedia reference, magazine ad, commercial, or the Good Year blimp. It only required guts.And yeah it was scary at first. And yeah I wanted a billboard, or someone on the six o'clock news to say it was ok. But that wasn't going to happen. So I started wearing openly. In front of strangers, friends, family, and co-workers. The world didn't end. They ALL accepted me. That's right. Accepted.
Legwear as Unisex fashion is here. It's just up to us to realize it. Put it in the encyclopedias. Newspapers. Whatever. But that is not what is going to do it. I don't care how many articles there are saying it's 'ok.' there are those that won't like it and those that will.
…
All I am saying is that acceptance is here, for those of you that have the guts to embrace it.
What riled me however was this thinly veiled criticism of what we are doing here:
I guarantee if more men wore openly you wouldn't need the 'information' contained in any blog, article, or reference.
I for one do not like to be told that what I have been doing on this blog for the last 18 months is unnecessary!
However we all have our points of view, and often these are influenced by circumstances. Mike is a lucky man in one respect - he has married the love of his life, who also shares his love of hosiery. There is acceptance for him at the most immediate and intimate level! Beside this, I imagine that all else pales into insignificance.
But what is acceptance?
- Freedom from fear of arrest?
- Freedom from fear of violence?
- Freedom from fear of public ridicule?
- Freedom from fear of opposition or ridicule at home?
Those who live in the West, I guess, already have (a) and usually (b) and (c) as well. I remember only one instance of a report on the Forums of a man being beaten up because he was wearing hosiery, and even then his demeanour rather than his legwear may have been the real issue. Such situations are mostly avoidable with little difficulty. So are the few situations where public ridicule is a possibility. 'Avoid groups of teenagers' is probably the best advice in that area.
What Mike obviously has in addition to this, and quite a few others have also, is (d) Freedom from fear of opposition or ridicule at home.
There are probably many of us like me, who would wear openly in pretty well any situation, public as well as private, were it not for opposition at home. This opposition manifests itself in a number of ways, from studiously ignoring the tights to lectures on the subject and to ridicule. Certainly there is no sharing of the joys of nylon, nor even any acknowledgement that such joys do, or can exist.
If people came and talked to my wife, they would soon know what acceptance, or rather the lack of it, is. Then maybe they would not be so keen to criticise as cowards those who seek advice, support and reassurance in the pages of this unnecessary blog, or in the postings on the LAUF Forum.
If you would like to comment on this entry, please click on the 'Comments' link below.
On your last paragraph; if your wife is anything like mine, they can blow
hot on cold on their 'acceptance' of husbands wearing tights. Even though
your doctor might have receommended wearing, if your find general comfort
and warmth from wearing tights, even if you specifically buy men's brands,
and if you demonstrate over time there is no ulterior motive, your wife can
still exhibit disapproval on the turn of a dime.
Well, I agree with everything Mike said in the first quote, but speaking
for myself, if it wasn't for LAUF originally, and Geraden's Blog
specifically, I'd still be doing what a lot of men seem to be doing -
sitting at home in tights waiting for 'Acceptance Day' to arrive. It's only
because of the encouragement I've received from these sites that I have
claimed acceptance for myself and I now have the freedom to go pretty much
anywhere I want to in shorts and tights. I owe a great deal to these sites
(and Geraden's Blog in particular).
Smoov -
Hi,
Is it about acceptance or is it about confidence?
Spandex tights are pretty much accepted as unisex wear - I have done light
errands after a run wearing them and have never had a bad experience.
Because people can tell I'm wearing them for the purpose they were designed
for, especially when they see my running sneakers and sweatjacket as well,
so it's not an issue. As for garments that are more obviously "tights", in
the classical sense, well I would love to wear black sheers, but wouldn't
because (b) and (c) are the fears I have. For me, it's the reverse: I've
got (d), I can wear pantyhose openly at home with my wife and even my
mom-in-law. They have no problems with it whatsoever. That's why I make
sure that hose pretty much match my legs when I wear them openly in public,
because though I'd love to be in black sheers, I don't think it's practical
- yet, anyway.
About the blog thing, it's an invaluable service. The dude in question is
getting carried away, it's like he's gone all macho over the issue of
tights-wearing, which is unhealthy (as all machismo generally tends to be).
I love your blog, Geraden, and I also am enjoying the LAUF forum, and these
help less-than-intrepid men-in-tights know they are not alone.
I think it is good that some men can openly wear pantyhose without fear of
anything happening and also feel like they don't need to explain their
actions... however there will always be a place for this and any blog or
forum site for support for those of us (me) that need the support of the
on-line crossdresser or pantyhose/tights wearing comunity.. and I hope this
grows, this site as well as the population of wearers...
acceptance is accepting yourself what you are .
Avatars
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