Advice for New Wearers - VII

by Geraden

Hopefully this is the last part of the series about advice for men who wear tights (incl. pantyhose where that term is used). This one deals with telling one's wife, fiancée, girlfriend and focuses on:

When you should tell?

At what stage in a relationship should you tell your SO that you like wearing tights, that tights are part of your life, probably an important part?

If you are near the start of a relationship, you are in a good position. You are both still learning about each other. Lots of things are exciting and new. The time to tell her is when you know each other well enough for her to have some attachment to you, but not so far into the relationship that it appears you have been holding something back. That is the ideal, of course. Most of us are not so lucky! But do not delay too long. Ideally tell her before you make that final commitment called marriage. There is another reason for not delaying. It may sound callous, but tell her before your commitment to her is so great that it would be an emotional catastrophe for you both if it turned out that she rejected not only your fashion choice but also you yourself. If that were to happen, the pain for you both would be very hard to bear.

But if you are at this early stage in your relationship, you have lots of options. If you are both young and adventurous, a discussion on what turns you on might be the opportunity. Others may find a frank, and adult to adult discussion on the benefits of wearing is the right approach. (I am using the language of Transactional Analysis here, but my meaning should be clear even if you are not acquainted with TA.)

What about those who are much further into a relationship? You may have been wearing secretly for years, hiding your store of tights, anxious that you might slip up. Sooner or later you will. If she finds tights in your coat pocket, or the glove compartment of your car (does anyone ever put gloves in the glove compartment of a car??) what will she think? 'George likes wearing tights', or 'George is having an affair?' and 'If he hasn't told me this, what else hasn't he told me about?'

How to bring it up?

For the secret wearer some way into a relationship, there are some strategies that can be adopted. Some occasions lend themselves to disclosure of a love of nylon, by giving low-risk opportunities to wear openly.

• Fancy dress parties, e.g. Halloween or Vicars and Tarts parties (there must be some reason that men usually go as tarts – and it can't be because the women long to dress in clerical black!)
• Taking up hobbies or activities where wearing tights is acceptable:
  • cycling
  • acting (Shakespeare, etc)
  • dance, ballet
  • renaissance re-enactments (keyword: Ren-faire clothing )
• Winter – wear for warmth (opaques) (You could try long johns and say how uncomfortable they are – which has the added advantage of being true.)

In each case, you can if you like start with heavier opaque tights, and gradually move towards wearing sheerer varieties. 70 denier is a good starting point, e.g. Activskin A869s. Move down in 10 denier stages until you reach a weight of tights that you (and hopefully she) are comfortable with. If you go below 20 den you will need to take special care anyway.

Be aware of and try to accommodate her preferences. Some women are more comfortable if their man wears dark opaques which may appear more "manly"; others are happier if he is in skintone colours which are less visible.

Bed

It is a great place to wear tights!

Get her to wear in bed for you; show her you enjoy it.  Make it clear that it is her you love – the tights just add excitement.
What is more, the words "Put me these tights on please" might just get her to put them on you!

Practical reasons to wear in bed

• they are less tangly than pjs.
• Ideal when it is just too cool to wear nothing, and just too warm to have a duvet on – tights and t-shirt to bed.

Long ago I changed from PJs to a nightshirt. Then I started wearing tights under the nightshirt, at first for fun in bed, and later on a regular basis. Then in summer, I changed the nightshirt for a t-shirt.

Tights which come with an oval or eye-shaped gusset can easily be adapted for 'practical' bed wear for either or both sexes. Use your imagination, a sharp pair of scissors and a little care. (Don't try this with tights that have a back or front panel, or with those horrible cheap ones that just have a font to back seam!) How do you tell in advance whether tights have a gusset or an extra panel? You cannot always, but read the packet carefully – it might tell you. Or buy Marks & Spencers tights – in my experience they always have a gusset rather than an extra panel.

Men's Tights

'Discover' Activskin etc and say you wouldn't mind trying. If you want to know brands and styles of men's tights are available, look on www.legwear4men.com and support my friend Bozeman by buying some. Oh, and his customer service is great.

Children

So far we have been talking about telling the big love of your life. But what about the little loves? Should you tell them, and if so how and when?

Do you seriously think you can keep this from them? Kids are even more inquisitive than women (!), and they seem to have a licence to go anywhere, look at anything and smile innocently.

When you tell your SO, take a bit of time to decide together about when to tell the children. I advise 'when to tell the children', not 'whether'.

Young children are accepting. If you do not treat wearing tights as anything unsual / abnormal, neither will they.

The worst age is probably between 12 and 18. Children of that age are not little innocents any more, but neither do they have the emotional resources to react in an appropriate or adult way to such information, particularly within a peer group. Not sure of what reaction will be acceptable, they are likely to show their insecurity by giggling or laugh about it with their friends. The only advice is what I have already said: act natural, be prepared to discuss in a grown up way why you wear. In addition, be prepared to point out some of their fashion choices that you find strange (there are sure to be some!)

Children of any age need to understand that this is private stuff – we don’t discuss it outside the family because it's not appropriate. Like you don't have conversations with people about what colour and type your underwear is.

Finally

Tights are clothing, after all is said and done. You and I know that they are the most wonderful clothing in the world; that they enhance a woman's legs in a way that is to swoon for; that they feel good to the touch both on the inside and on the outside; that they provide support and relief from leg problems as well as warmth and insulation. Oh yes and they are sexy, but maybe best not to go there in this particular discussion!

To those who have not the 'nylon gene', they are just clothes: at best neutral, and worst uncomfortable, unnecessary and unhealthy. Do not expect non-wearers to look on tights in the same way as we do. If they thought like us, why, they would be wearing too!

First |  Previous |  1 |  2 |  3 |  4 |  5 |  6 |  7 |  Next