Advice for New Wearers - V

by Geraden

This is part of the series of Advice for New Wearers. Really this part is not just for new wearers, but for any man who wears tights / pantyhose and has not yet told his nearest and dearest about it.

In the last section we looked at why it is important not to keep this a secret for too long. Let us say that you have now decided to tell your wife, girlfriend etc that you wear. There are a number of things that may happen. You may think you know which is the most likely, but remember that women are surprising creatures and the reaction may be different from what you expect. Not necessarily worse, but it may be different.

A quick run down of the possible outcomes

 Be prepared for at least some of these! Your wife, fiancée girlfriend etc:

• (worst case scenario) forces you to choose between tights and her (If so, there is something seriously wrong, and it is beyond the scope of Geraden to counsel you what you do about that. You need professional advice.)
• always sees wearing tights as a big issue
• makes an issue of it from time to time
• tolerates rather than accepts (well, at least you still get to wear)
• is accepting but prefers you not to wear publicly / not in front of the children etc (not so bad, really)
• is totally accepting (woo-hoo!)

Wherever on the list she takes her initial position, the experience of many men has shown that there is a tendency with time for a woman to move down the list towards greater acceptance. A lot of this is down to the overcoming of fears and misconceptions, which will be the subject of the next part.

If your wife, etc is opposed to your wearing,
Here are some of the reasons you might meet:

• it is not manly
• indicates that you are secretly a homosexual
• shows lack of love/concern for her
• it’s a waste of money
• what will people think?
• what will the kids think?
• what will the kids' friends think?
• how will the friend's mother's cat react?
• how will it affect kids' relationships with other sex?
• would you prefer to be a woman?
• is this the first step towards a sex change?

Explaining why you wear

So you need to explain why you wear. The best reason is 'because I like to' – better to say that than to stammer your way through some rehearsed script about varicose veins and about sand fleas in Iraq.

If you wear because it turns you on, maybe you should save your wearing for the bedroom? But if you really wear for the practical benefits of health, warmth, support etc that's different. The difficult one concerns the in-between, psychological, benefits of wearing. Tights feel good. They help me feel good. They help to reduce stress and anxiety. They are an outlet for something that will only fester if it is bottled up inside.

Do your homework.

Read my links (the more serious ones) especially

Roadrunner's letters Part 1 | Part 2

• Dr Vernon Coleman's article "Why men wear".
• Bozeman's site
• Lewis's site (remember this chap's first language is not English!)

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