Advice for New Wearers - IV
by Geraden
It's not about pantyhose. It's about honesty, trust, and communication. It's about not being ashamed that you wear pantyhose. Because if you are not ashamed, then talking about it is easy. It's about believing in your SO enough to tell her anything. – Mike (Lycra One), LAUF, 01.09.2005
We are continuing the series for men who are new to wearing tights (pantyhose). So far we have looked at whether you should become a wearer, how and where to buy your tights, and how to put them on.
Now we come to the really difficult one: handling the issue with your nearest and dearest.
I want to look at things like:
- Why you should tell
- What you should tell
- When you should tell
- How you should tell
How do you handle it? Everyone is different, and every relationship is different, so hard and fast rules are no good here, so how about some general principles?
General principles
Honesty is the best policy.
Mike says it all in the quotation above, which comes from: http://forums.delphiforums.com/LegwearUF/messages/?msg=2755.67 . NOT telling is dangerous. Having secrets destroys relationships because it demonstrates a lack of complete trust and communication.
Confidence.
You need to be confident. Women like men to be confident. If you are ashamed of your wearing, it will affect your whole demeanour and if that happens, you have lost it already. Tights are articles of clothing. That's all. They may be the most wonderful articles of clothing ever invented – to you – but to a woman, they are just a commodity. If they are just a commodity, what is the big issue?
Consideration
for others, particularly those to whom you have responsibilities – your wife, children etc. Tights can never be more important than your loved ones. This leads on to being prepared to:
Compromise
Some compromise may be necessary. You may be faced with, "If you loved me you would follow my wishes and not wear tights". If so, it may be reasonable for you to say, "If you loved me you would respect what is important to me". But In the end you two are going to have to live together. Be prepared if necessary to negotiate ground rules.
When is it ok for you to wear? times / locations / in whose presence?
What kinds of hosiery are ok? Sheer / opaque / patterned / what colour?
With what? long trousers / shorts / socks / no socks / skirt?
Finally,
Do not assume the worst:
It may never happen. In the forums I have been following the topic of telling wives and gfs for several years. I have read many of the stories. I have read stories of non-acceptance or of toleration, usually tied in with some kind of compromise. I have read more stories of initial toleration being transformed over time into full acceptance. Most of the stories have been very positive – telling about full acceptance and shared enjoyment of one of life's little pleasures. A quick analysis of posters on the thread on LAUF: Ready acceptance: 7; Growing acceptance 4; rejection 0. It may be that those who had a bad reaction will be less likely to tell about it, but it seems unlikely that a man wearing tights will cause the breakdown of an otherwise healthy relationship. If the relationship is already weak, you don't need to wear pantyhose - virtually anything could cause a deterioration.
I'm finding this one hard to set down in a logical order, so I will leave it like that for now, and come back later to the what, how and when of bringing up the subject of wearing tights or pantyhose.
I discovered the sensual pleasure of wearing tights when I was a teenager.
Many years ago when I initially revealed to my wife-to-be that I liked to
wear tights she was really shocked and quite angry. It caused several
heated arguments. She mistakenly assumed I wanted to go further by wearing
other types of women's clothing. So, I left the topic 'in the bottom
drawer' for several years. Our fledgling relationship was too important.
Nice to hear from you again, Jamod.
Good, well balanced article Geraden.
Tag Related Posts
Avatars
These are some of the contributors to this blog:
