Advice for New Wearers - II

by Geraden

So you want to try wearing tights? If so, how do you go about it?

Some things to think about: can you borrow a pair from a female who is close to you? Will you do this without her knowledge? Should you? Would her's fit you anyway?

If not, you need to get some of your own, preferably by legal means. Many men are shy about buying tights. I certainly was.

But in my student days I wanted my own pair of tights so much that I screwed up my courage and bought some with my very first pay packet from a holiday job at Lewis's department store in Birmingham. Of course I had no idea about brands, types of tights, or sizing. Well I guessed that I would want the largest size! Types, there really wasn't the choice we have today. You did not have to worry how much lycra content there was in tights – there was none. There were tights and there were run resist tights. Run resist sounded a good idea (such was my state of ignorance at that time). As for brands – at least in those days there were plenty of hosiery advertisements so you could learn a bit about what was on offer without physically being in a hosiery department. I came away from the hosiery counter with a pair of Berkshire run-resist tights in tan costing seven shillings and sixpence. I used my staff discount - not to save money but to support the illusion that I was buying the tights for someone else. And I was shaking like a leaf.

Nowadays we don't have hosiery adverts, but we do have the Internet. So a solution to the problem of shyness might be to order online. It has been said that a minimum of 80% of on-line hosiery sales are for men. The only drawback is that if you buy online, a package will drop through your letter-box.

The nightmare is that your tights shipment will come in a package with eye-catching graphics of (female) legs in nylon and 100-point bold writing (in pink) saying

Ladies' Tights order for Mr Geraden

or whatever. The postie will have a good chuckle as he delivers – in fact he will probably ring the bell on purpose just to have a good look at a man who wears tights.

Let's dispel that nightmare. I can tell you that among UK based companies, Legwear4men, Mytights, Tightsplease, SSL/HRC and Figleaves all ship in plain packages. The only company I know of that despatches tights in an obvious manner is Silkies.

However I know that the Royal Mail is not what it once was – now you get one delivery a day at any old time, and you cannot always guarantee to be first to the post when it arrives.

If this is a problem, the alternative is (shock, horror!) shop in person at a store!

A new nightmare takes shape. A man walks into the hosiery department; immediately  sirens start to sound, store security appears with a big spotlight to train on him, and loudspeaker messages will say "Attention all staff: male intruder on ladies tights floor!"  No?

That is another nightmare that has little connection with reality. The male pound is worth as much as the female pound to the shop. Remember that even with bricks and mortar shops the percentage of hosiery bought for men is higher than you would imagine. (My estimate is 20%.) You are not alone. The sales assistant will have served many male customers before, and she will not say anything to embarrass you. If you don't tell her that they are for you, it is very unlikely that she will ask.

Ok, your heart rate may still go up, you may still start sweating profusely, your face may go as red as a beetroot, and you will temporarily become incapable of stringing more than 3 words together in a way that is both audible and makes sense.

How to minimise the stress level?

• Plan your purchase.
  • Know what you want – product, colour, size. You can research all this on the internet.
  • Decide where you will make your purchase.
    • Supermarket with the groceries? probably the easiest, but the choice will be limited.
    • High street store like Boots, Bhs, M&S – a good idea. Usually limited to own brands, (maybe with the addition of Pretty Polly and Aristoc), but the better quality lines are not bad. Of the three named here, I would say M&S is the best. They are own-label only, but their hosiery is good.
    • Department store? Some of them have very poor hosiery departments. In Selfridges I couldn't even find a hosiery department the last time I looked. Debenhams was disappointing, Beatties was somewhat better. House of Fraser is good. Look out for sales, especially in HoF.
    • Specialist hosiery shops (e.g. Sock Shop) and ladies' boutiques? – now this is getting scary! Why would you want to shop there?
    • Other options: Disposal outlets like TKMaxx can have excellent tights at bargain prices. Or they can have nothing worth buying.
  • Choose your time. Do you want to go tights shopping when the shop is busy, or when it is quiet?
  • Make sure you have your money ready. This may seem silly advice, but once on my way home from work I took a pair of tights to the cash desk, only to find that I had left all my money behind at the office. Now that really is embarrassing!

Whenever you decide to go, take a few deep breaths, act confidently. This really cannot be emphasised too much. You are not doing something illegal or immoral. You are going about your business, and it is your business and nobody else's.

If you are in a department store, be prepared for an assistant to come up to you and ask if you need any help.  This can be scary, but handled the right way it can be a positive experience. Know what you will say in advance.

• You can ask for what you want, and she will either find it for you, or recommend a close substitute. You do not have to volunteer the information who the tights are for – it is none of her business. Telling a lie at this point will always be noticed, unless you are a member of Equity or an experienced hosiery buyer (in which case you will probably say they are for you anyway).
• Or you can just say that you are all right, thank you.

Hosiery sales assistants are well used to dealing with male customers nowadays, and they know that many men buy for themselves. It's no big deal to them – don't let it be a big deal for you. If you have to, don't be afraid to say the tights are for you – you may get some useful advice. Just act normally and naturally – it will carry you through every time.

Congratulations, you have just made your first tights purchase!

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