Leo's Story

by Leo

A reader called Leo sent me this account of his experiences with tights. As always it is interesting to read other people's stories and compare and contrast with our own. Thanks. Leo!

It's forty years this month (July 2009) since I first wore a pair of tights, I know it's also forty years since mankind's giant step, but it was my first small step. I can be so precise on the date because it was a family celebration day and my female cousin who is about three years older than me was looking after me and my younger sister, I was eleven. We were playing a game and I managed to contrive a situation whereby I wore a pair of my mother's tights. I remember the game stopped and I spent some time wearing and modelling the tights, but I can't remember too much detail now except that I was really scared that my parents would find out. I wouldn't have been much company at the subsequent celebration evening because I was so worried, but to this day my sister and cousin have never mentioned that incident again.

I have been fascinated by tights since as far back as I can remember and had wanted to try some before that day but I think I waited until I was deemed old enough to look after myself or babysit my sister before I began secretly wearing my mothers tights when I was alone. I wasn't careful which pairs I wore or where I took them from and I'm sure my mother knew or suspected. Oblique references where made sometimes, but I was never asked directly.

I was certainly confused, why did I want to do this so badly? Why did I feel a sense of relief afterwards? Was I in some way 'warped'? It certainly wasn't normal behaviour. As I grew older and heard of such things as cross dressing I thought that maybe I was a latent transvestite but I had no urge to wear a skirt and I found the thought of putting make-up on totally repugnant.

I carried on doing this until the age of fifteen when I met my first serious girlfriend and I stopped wearing abruptly. My reason being that it was totally unfair on her to have a boyfriend seriously 'warped' in his behaviour like this. Over time we parted, I had other girlfriends, and at the age of seventeen I met the girl who became and still is my wife. I don't think I lost the urge to wear but I had controlled it. I was very much still fascinated by girls wearing tights and this being the 1970's it was a fantastic time in this respect because all girls wore tights during that decade.

December 1977 was cold, and when I went to my girlfriend's one evening we were sat in the front room when my future father-in-law rolled up his trouser leg to announce that he was wearing a pair of my future mother-in-laws tights so as to keep his legs warm. This was said most matter of factly with no hint of embarrassment and accepted without comment by those in the room. I'm sure I just said something like ' what a good idea' and acted as nonchalantly as possible whilst being in turmoil internally.

For me, the wearing of tights was an act of unutterable magic, fulfilling in the extreme and to do so, so unselfconsciously and in public was more than I could ever hope to have the opportunity to do. I envied all women for having the opportunity to wear them all the time and even the mention of the word struck me like a lightning bolt.

I went home that evening in turmoil at what I had experienced and I remember lying in bed the next morning imagining the long forgotten sensation of wearing tights, it was four and a half years since I had worn any and it was just a memory. However, I decided to continue with the abstinence.

Another reason I remember this date so well is because I had just changed jobs, was finding the change intellectually demanding, and suffering a degree of stress because of this. After a particularly fraught day, I cracked, and that night I just had to wear, what a relief.

The next year we got married and I can't remember how long we had been married before I started secretly wearing my wife's tights but I did and now covered my tracks so well that she doesn't know to this day.

The winter of 1981 was extremely cold and I can't remember if my wife suggested it, based on her father's experience, but at last my opportunity to wear tights with her knowledge presented itself and I accepted with great alacrity. The cold lasted for weeks and I wore regularly. I sensed that she wasn't enthusiastic about this in that she didn't seem to encourage me but I could have just mistaken her disinterest for lack of enthusiasm.

Over the years I would complain about cold legs and she would give me tights to wear when it was cold and for when I went to football matches in the winter and when riding my cycle. I wasn't feigning the cold legs though, and I'll come to this later.

About ten years ago I became brave enough to buy my own tights but through a sense of embarrassment that I previously didn't have I wore them without her knowledge and washed them secretly, so I think she actually forgot that I had worn them in the past. When I complained about cold legs she no longer offered me a pair of hers, but as I had my own I just wore them surreptitiously.

With the advent of the internet came the discovery of something that changed my life, I never have revealed my secret life of tights but, I did discover that my strange 'warped' feelings and behaviour was nothing more than a tights/pantyhose fetish. For the first time in thirty years I actually felt normal and reconciled my strange behaviour. I never have shared this with my wife though.

A medical problem I had had since my school days was Raynaud's disease. This is most commonly a female complaint but I have had it since early teenage. It is a loss of circulation in the extremities, fingers and toes mainly, and I would get this quite severely such that after being outside at school play time I couldn't write for twenty minutes until the blood returned to my fingers, similarly I couldn't separate the newspapers in my paper bag on my paper round and I couldn't untie my football boots after games. I also suffered cold legs. In my forties I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and one side effect of the medication has been a great alleviation of my Reynaud's.

Three years ago, business took me to the USA, Canada and Germany in short succession during winter. On return I began to suffer aching legs, particularly first thing in the morning but continuing all day. I also began to feel a cramp in the back of my right thigh. I went to the doctor, mainly to check for DVT after all the flying, but he sent me very quickly for an ultrasound check of my Aorta.

Over the next few months medical checks at the doctors and hospital failed to find a cause and variations of my blood pressure medication in case of side effects also failed to clear the aching. I have some varicose veins particularly on my right leg which is always the worst affected but the problem is still with me and defying the medical profession. Obviously I tried the internet to find a cause, and it seems that if you are female, support hosiery is the solution to such problems.

My wife could see clearly by my walk, and incontrovertibly because of the myriad medical checks I had submitted myself to, that these aches were troubling me and affecting my life. I showed her an internet article on support hose and we went to Boots together and bought some support tights.

Putting them on was like applying a soothing lotion to my legs and so it has proved that they are the only solution I know to alleviate the aches. At first I wore them just to sooth the aches but at my wife's suggestion adopted a prevention is better than cure approach and I now wear them practically all the time and this prevents them occurring.

In August 2008 I heard the publicity that was around at that time for men's hosiery, investigated further and found Geraden and from there, a revelation for me, that tights were actually manufactured for men. I had worn women's tight for two years and found them quite uncomfortable but I wore them for the relief. It's so good now to have found access to tights that actually fit well and are really comfortable. As someone who has to take medication permanently for blood pressure and other problems it is so good to control this problem in a non-medication way.

The irony is not lost on me however that a garment that has always fascinated me has actually became an everyday article of clothing for me for medical reasons. I'm also so glad that I have never shared my secret with anyone because I'm sure the reasons would appear suspicious.

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