First buying
by Geraden
People have asked me about the first time I bought a pair of tights. Here is the story.
I was 16½ and in my first holiday job, working for a department store in Birmingham called Lewis's, long since gone. I would have loved to work in the hosiery department, which was vast in those days – half a floor, not just a rack or two as you usually see in stores these days. But no, they put me in packing in the sub-basement. The next day I was promoted to selling cheese on the ground floor, and the day after I was again promoted to working in the offices, in the bought ledger department. All the office girls wore tights in those days! The dragon in charge of Bought Ledger, Miss Print, naturally wore, and with her in charge the girls would not have dreamt of coming to work in trousers!
The only previous pair of tights I had 'owned', I had picked up in the gutter somewhere, and taken home and washed. I don't think they were laddered, but naturally they weren't my size and I had to get rid of them. I buried them in the bushes in the park. (Well I could hardly have put them in the dustbin for my parents to see, and I knew better than to burn them on the stove, because even I knew by then what a horrible smell burning nylon makes.)
My mother never wore tights, and I had no sisters. I really wanted a pair of tights, and I would not have dreamt of shoplifting, so had no way of getting any that would fit me, other than buying them. So with my first wage packet I went down to the hosiery department in Lewis's. I was dead embarrassed, but I needed a pair of tights so badly. So I had to screw up courage and buy myself some. I took a piece of paper, which I pretended to consult, as if I was on an errand for my mum or someone. In my mind I told myself that the fact that I could get staff discount would justify this ruse. I looked around for as long as I dared, trying to take in the information on the back of packets. I could not do that for too long for fear of blowing my cover. Eventually I grabbed a pair of Berkshire 20 denier in tan and took them to the sales assistant. I must have been as red as a beetroot at the time. I was, after all, the only man in the world who loved tights enough to want to wear some!
I think I just handed the tights to the assistant without a word and showed her my staff discount card. I think they were 7/6d less discount, so I think I paid 6/8d (Yes, it was before decimalisation! It works out at about 33p in new money, but then my week's wage was only £6).
There was one more embarrassing stage to go through. When I left work I had to show the tights and my receipt to the security man at the staff entrance, but somehow I cleared that hurdle and got my treasure home, burned the packaging and receipt on the stove, and hid the tights under my mattress until I had the chance to try them on.
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Great story Geraden, reminds me of my own first attempts to buy hosiery. I
was a teenager in the 1980's which looking back was a great decade for
hosiery wearing. Most of my girlfriends around that time wore tights
because they were fashionable. Anyway, my first purchase must have been
when I was about 15 from Boots. I must have stood in the vicinity of the
hosiery section for about an hour surreptitiously glancing across to select
the right colour and size hoping that no one would see me looking. In the
end I picked up a sample pack of aftershaves (because I thought buying
something manly in addition to tights would make me seem more normal)
strolled purposefully up to the tights section, pulled off a pair of black
15 denier then wandered over to the purchase counter. My heart was racing
and I felt terribly embarrassed but the assistant didn't bat an eyelid.
I also used the trick of the piece of paper, allegedly suggesting the
tights are for someone else. I recommend it for people not very confident
in themselves, but sooner or later you realise that the other customers
won't bat an eyelid about what you are buying and that the major blockings
are in your own head. Once you have bought hosiery without artifice, you
are ready to do it again and again. This is what I do now, and what the
other people may think, I really don't care, like I don't care about what
they are buying. It is as simple as that.
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